


mission: pizzaeil

by matchapuudding (kuntenjohnil)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Attempt at Humor, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Humor, M/M, i think it can be seen as platonic...?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:41:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28283388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuntenjohnil/pseuds/matchapuudding
Summary: Donghyuck swears he (thinks he) only did a little mishap in his spell, but he had turned Taeil into a pizza, albeit by accident.Now he hasa lotto do.He has to find out what went wrong with his spell, find a way to turn Taeil back to a human before he spoils, keep guard over the pizza so that someone doesn’t put him in the fridge or the microwave, and hold up…Is that a pizza slicer that Jungwoo is holding?
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Moon Taeil
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	mission: pizzaeil

“Hyung!” Donghyuck bulldozes his way through the door to Taeil’s room, and his face looks far too bright and too energetic for someone who wakes up at 7 am, on a Sunday, which also happens to be one of their off days since quite some time.

Taeil, who is still trying to gather up his energy by - as contradicting as it sounds - lying down and lazily scrolling his phone, gives an unimpressed look, “Have you ever heard about knocking the door before entering, Hyuckie?”

Donghyuck scoffs, “Why, hyung? Are you afraid that I’ll find you in _compromising_ situations?”

“You’d never find me in such a situation because I’ll _always_ lock the door.” Taeil scoffs as he sits up.

“So, why are you so hyped at-” Taeil steals a look at the clock next to his bed, “-seven thirty-three in the morning?” Pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighs, “None of us has had breakfast yet, where did you get all of that energy from?”

Donghyuck grins mischievously and shakes his phone. “Look at what I just found in the forum, hyung!”

Taeil frowns, “You’re still in that… witch whatsoever forum, Hyuck? I told you not to.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, “Hyung, it’s not like I am joining a cult in the deep dark web or something like it, this is a legit, fun forum for amateur witches to learn about spells!”

“So what did you find that makes you so happy?” Taeil asks, flashing a smirk at him. 

Donghyuck groans rolling his eyes, “Stop it hyung - I found a spell that we can use to change your hair color! Imagine, you don’t have to deal with touch-ups, dry split ends, or even painful bleach anymore! Just a spell and _poof_ ,” Donghyuck adds some hand gesture - for dramatic purposes, of course, “New hair color with no side effects!”

Taeil hums in contemplation, “Hmm, I’m still not sold… It seems fishy, the perfect hair dye spell… from some weird forum for novices.” Taeil cards his fingers through his hair, and yeah, he has to admit it feels kind of dry though, “So if I decide to be your guinea pig for that spell, how can you guarantee that this will work? What if I become bald instead, how will you take responsibility for that?”

“Hyung!” Donghyuck gasps, “How dare you doubt my capability? Do you still remember what fixed Yuta hyung’s vase that you broke last week? Yes, it was my spell; thank you for remembering.”

Taeil wants to point out that Donghyuck’s spell didn’t even last for more than one hour because the vase in question was back to its broken state when the magic disappeared after some time, so he and Taeyong had to put the pieces back together using superglue.

No, Yuta wasn’t happy, and yes, they had to replace the vase at the end.

However, Taeil is too lazy to argue with an ecstatic Donghyuck, especially with no breakfast and an empty stomach.

“Fine, so how long will this spell last? I am not going to have, let’s say, neon green hair forever, right?”

Donghyuck raises his finger like he just realised something then scrolls his phone, “Good question, hyung. It said here that it would only last for four hours, tops. Which is pretty convenient if you want to have a temporary hair color change for a performance without it looking like a spray-kind of temporary hair color, I think.”

Taeil hums, contemplating the pros and cons before saying ‘yes’ and becoming Donghyuck’s guinea pig for… the millionth time, maybe?

“Okay, fine. Ash blond. Four hour tops because I have recording tomorrow.”

“Awwww, the usual boring blond, hyung? Don’t you want to try something like… electric blue, maybe? You can always put a beanie on if you want to go somewhere!” Donghyuck pouts, “Loosen up just a little!”

Taeil huffs.

_Is there even a day that I can say ‘no’ to Hyuck?_

“Alright, do whatever color you want. Make sure it will be gone by tomorrow though. I want my mocha brown hair back for the behind the scene videos.”

“Aye aye, captain,” The mischievous grin is back again on Donghyuck’s face, “Electric blue it is.”

Donghyuck then reads the spell written on the screen of his phone under his breath multiple times because he has to memorize the words, or else it won’t work. The incantation only has like, more or less ten words though, so Donghyuck figured he could do this easily.

“Okay, I am ready!” Donghyuck declares enthusiastically.

Taeil smiles thinly, “Well, so am I.”

Donghyuck gets closer to Taeil and holds his hands, “Okay hyung, close your eyes. We’ll get your electric blue hair in no time.”

Taeil closes his eyes, and Donghyuck’s voice muttering the spell under his breath is the last thing that he hears before he loses consciousness.

A cloud of white smoke suddenly fills the room and causes Donghyuck to have a coughing fit, so he lets go of Taeil’s hand and walks over the balcony to open its door.

The smoke dissipates as quickly as it came, but so does Taeil.

Instead, Donghyuck finds a pie of pizza right on Taeil’s bed, precisely at the spot where Taeil had been sitting on.

“Oh… _shit_.”

  
  


_____

  
  


_“Donghyuck, it is only... nine in the morning, it’s Sunday, I am supposed to be still asleep, what the hell do you need me for-”_

“Junjun, please help me! I just turned Taeil hyung into a pizza.”

Renjun doesn’t say anything for a while.

_“Lee Donghyuck, it is still too damn early to get drunk I tell you, let me call Taeyong hyung-“_

“Huang Renjun, I am not drunk, I am totally sober, but I did a little mishap with my spell… I guess? Anyway, that’s why Taeil hyung is now a pizza. There! I said it!”

_“Hyuck… really? A pizza? But… how?”_

“I have no idea! I don’t even know what I did wrong!”

_“What spell did you intend to put on Taeil hyung actually?”_

“The hair color one. There was a new post this morning in that forum that we often visit, so I was excited, and Taeil hyung agreed to be my first client-“

_“By client, did you mean victim?”_

“Hey!”

_“I mean, he turned into a pizza, doesn’t this make him a victim then?”_

“You have a point... there, though.”

_“Which post? I haven’t seen any new post on the forum though-“_

“Go to the Fun Magic section, it’s the first post today.”

_“Oh yeah okay, I am seeing it now… oh wait, I think I know this person…? I think Kun ge introduced me to him some time ago, he used to be Kun ge’s mentor.”_

“Oh? Junjun, can you please contact him and ask how I can… you know, clean this mess?”

Renjun sighs deeply over the phone. 

He might be purposely exaggerating it though.

_“You know I am doing this for Taeil hyung, right?”_

“I do. Very clearly. Crystal clear.”

_“Okay, now please don’t only rely on me, you have to find a way to get him back too before he spoils. Remember, he is now a food and once he spoils, there is no way he can turn back into a human. You hear me, Lee Donghyuck?”_

“Wait… why can’t I just put him in the fridge and reheat him in the microwave after?”

 _“Lee Donghyuck- oh god, really? What will_ you _feel if I put you in a fridge and then reheat you in a microwave after,_ naked _?”_

“Hold up… so Taeil hyung is going to be able to feel the cold and the heat?”

 _“Hyuck, he is still there! Of course, he can feel them! He can even feel the immense pain when you_ slice _him!”_

Donghyuck shudders.

“Okay fine, no fridge, no microwave, no slicer… shit, when does usually pizza expire?”

_“He definitely won’t last until tomorrow, Hyuck.”_

“.....uh-oh.”

_“Yes. Uh-oh.”_

  
  


______

  
  


The 10th-floor dormitory inhabitants had recently bought a long dining table that can fit all five of them, a few more along with the array of food that they usually have. However, now there is only Donghyuck and a cold pie of pizza sitting on the table.

He’s busy scrolling the forum, trying to find the counteragent to the spell-mishap that he just did, and he is also trying so, _so_ hard not to eat the pizza because of _holy fuck since when a cold pizza can smell this great?_

_I guess picking a little piece of mozzarella won’t hurt Taeil hyung right?_

_No! Don’t!_

_Once you start picking the mozzarella, you will pick the pepper then pepperoni and on to the mushroom..._

_And then finally the whole pizza._

_You’re better than this, Lee Donghyuck. You just need to resist yourself from touching the pizza. You can do it._

“What’s smelling so good here? Oh - a pizza! Can I have a slice?” Mark asks, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Then only now Donghyuck remembers about the other inhabitants of the dorm on the 10th floor.

_Shit_.

And all of them love pizza.

_Shit times two._

“No, no, NO!” Donghyuck tries to pry Mark’s hands from touching the pizza.

Mark pouts, “If you only want to eat it alone, then why did you bring it here?”

“I’m… I’m waiting for Taeil hyung! Taeil hyung has to eat it first, then only all of you can eat it!”

“Favoritism,” Mark mutters under his breath, “Where is he anyway? I thought he said that he wanted to be lying down the whole day?”

“He… he went out for a while. He’ll be back soon.”

“O…kay?” Mark says hesitantly, “Let me know when you guys start having the pizza. I’ll be in my room!”

Donghyuck only waves him off.

Once Mark leaves the dining room, only then Donghyuck remembers.

Jungwoo.

The always-hungry _Kim Jungwoo._

Kim Jungwoo cannot know the existence of this pizza, or else...

_Taeil hyung will end up in his stomach._

Donghyuck shudders again.

And in the middle of his reverie, his phone suddenly rings.

_Taeyong hyung calling…_

“Yes, hyung?”

_“Remember your turn to get the groceries today?”_

Donghyuck groans, “Damn, I almost forgot.”

_“I knew it. Don’t worry Hyuck; we only need some veggies, milk, yoghurt and strawberry jam. I think you can just get it from auntie’s store downstairs.”_

“Alright then, can you send me the list hyung? I’ll go there soon.”

_“Okay sure, thanks Hyuckie!”_

“No problem, hyung.”

The call ends with a click and Donghyuck huffs.

“Sorry Illie hyung, I have to leave you for a while.”

He takes a post-it and a marker from the kitchen island, then he writes “DO NOT OPEN THIS” in all capitals on the post-it and sticks it on top of the pizza box. 

“Please stay alive until I come back for you, hyung,” Donghyuck whispers as he pats the box gently before he leaves for the store downstairs.

  
  


_____

  
  
  


Yuta frowns as he opens the pizza box on the dining table despite the neon green post-it note (and what it says) stuck to its lid.

“Where is this nice smell coming from?” Jaehyun asks as he approaches Yuta, “Is it from the pizza?”

Yuta nods, “Who bought this?”

Jaehyun shrugs, “No idea. I just got back from the gym. Maybe Taeil hyung? You know how he is with pizza.”

“Yeah, but he never writes something like this,” Yuta shows Jaehyun the post-it, “He always shares.”

Now it is Jaehyun’s turn to frown, “Why can’t we open this? Is it already spoiled or something?”

Yuta lifts the box closer and scrutinizes the pizza, “I don’t… think so? There is no mold whatsoever and it still smells good, so I don’t think it has gone bad.”

“I know right, it smells heavenly! Damn, I’m starving! Do you think Taeil hyung will be mad if we just eat this and order another one for him later?” says Jaehyun as he rubs his stomach.

Yuta contemplates for a bit, “Hmmm, maybe he won’t? You know how he is. Anyway, this handwriting doesn’t look like his, so I guess he wasn’t the one writing it. It can be Donghyuck, or maybe Jungwoo? Since they usually don’t want to share-“

“Hey, I heard my name!” Jungwoo suddenly appears from his room and he sniffs the air, “Oooohh, I smell pizza.”

Yuta lifts the box higher to give Jungwoo a clearer view, “So does that mean you weren’t the one who wrote this?”

Jungwoo comes closer to Yuta, takes the pizza box from his hand, and opens it, “Oooh boy, and aren’t you looking great too.”

“Do you think Taeil hyung will be mad if we eat this? We can buy another one for him later, right?” Jaehyun repeats his previous question, this time directed to Jungwoo.

His roommate waves his hand, “He definitely won’t mind. I am sure Hyuckie wrote this as a joke too, I know his handwriting,” Jungwoo puts the box back on the table and smiles gleefully, “Now where is our pizza slicer?”

  
  


_____

  
  
  


_Something just isn’t right._

Donghyuck walks even faster from the lift to the 10th-floor dorm. He now regrets not leaving his Taeil hyung in his room instead of on the dining table.

And he regrets it even more when he opens the door and sees Jaehyun, Yuta, and Mark standing around the dining table,

and a certain Kim Jungwoo with a pizza slicer in hand.

“Jungwoo hyung! No!!” Donghyuck screams before he runs inside and snatches the pizza slicer from Jungwoo’s hand.

Jungwoo lifts both of his hands in surrender, eyes widened, “Whoa whoa dude, _chill_. Is this your pizza?”

Donghyuck hugs the pizza box, then he shakes his head, “This… is Taeil hyung.”

Silence falls over them.

“You mean the pizza is Taeil hyung’s, not yours?” asks Jaehyun.

“No, hyung. This pizza _is_ Taeil hyung,” Donghyuck bows his head, “I… accidentally turned him into a pizza.”

There’s a moment of silence before Mark finally breaks it with a whisper of “No wonder it smells so good.”

(“Ow!” Mark exclaims as Jungwoo thwacks him with a spatula)

“Holy shit Donghyuck, what did you do to my roommate?” Yuta asks in a worried tone.

“I didn’t mean it!” Donghyuck huffs, “I was only using a new spell on him, and the spell was supposed only to change his hair color, not his… whole appearance.”

Mark blinks his eyes repeatedly, “So… you mean there was a mishap?”

“As much as I don’t want to admit it… yeah, I made a mistake,” Donghyuck mutters.

“Hyuck, this is not just a mistake, this is a total fuck up!” exclaims Yuta glowering at Donghyuck.

“Okay okay, now, mistakes happened, these were all in the past,” bless Jung Jaehyun and his simple mind, “But do you know how to fix this?”

Right when Donghyuck is about to open his mouth to answer the question, the doorbell rings. Yuta excuses himself and opens the door.

Donghyuck’s (and in this case, Taeil’s too) saviours have arrived.

“Good afternoon, everyone! I heard there is a pizza that needs a little rescuing here?” Kun asks in a cheery tone, with Renjun following behind him.

“Junjun!” Donghyuck passes the pizza box to Kun then hugs Renjun, “You guys are my savior!”

“Thanks for trying so hard to keep Taeil hyung alive, Hyuck-ah, that pizza smells too good to pass on.” Renjun laughs as he pats Donghyuck’s back.

“I know right??? I was this-“ Donghyuck presses his thumb and forefinger together, “-close to pick just a little mozzarella on top because he was just so. Tempting.”

“Wow, dude,” Renjun’s eyes widened, “Another thank you for being able to resist the temptation then.”

“I bet he must taste so good,” Donghyuck whispers while staring into the distance dramatically.

Renjun cringes and slaps his arm.

“Okay, may I borrow your and Taeil hyung’s room for a minute, Yuta hyung? This is going to be a little… smoky so I might need a closed room but with good ventilation.” Kun states.

“Wait… will it activate the smoke alarm?” Yuta asks, backing up a couple of steps.

“I don’t think so…? Hyuck, there was smoke when Taeil hyung transformed into this pizza, right? Did it activate the smoke alarm?” Donghyuck shakes his head, and Kun smiles, “then it should be safe, Yuta hyung.”

Yuta nods and goes to open the door to his room, “Sure then, Kun! Please!”

Kun smiles and replies with a thank you before going into the room.

“Don’t get tempted to eat Taeil hyung, Kun-ge~” Renjun wiggles his eyebrows.

Kun snorts at the double implication, “I have a good self-restraint, don’t worry,” he says as he closes the door with a click.

No sound is coming from the room for a while, then suddenly a loud ding is heard, and smoke seeps out of the little gap between the door and the floor. Kun is coughing loudly for some time too.

Luckily right before Donghyuck barges in because he gets too worried, Kun emerges from the room, followed by someone who looks like he just went through hell and back.

Their Taeil hyung.

“Illie hyuuuuung!” Donghyuck runs and hugs Taeil tightly, “I am really, really sorry!”

The rest of the inhabitants of 10th-floor dorm gape.

“Holy shit, hyung, you were a pizza,” Jungwoo whispers, his mouth hanging open.

“Yes, Jungwoo, and can you please hide that pizza slicer away?” Taeil cringes, “Rather not see that for a while, to be honest.”

Jungwoo hurriedly goes to the kitchen and puts the pizza slicer that he’s been holding into one of the drawers.

“How did it feel being a pizza, hyung?” Bless Mark, forever the curious child.

“Well, it felt...” Taeil paused for a moment, “...weird to begin with? I could see and feel everything happening around me, but I couldn’t move at all! I screamed out loud when Jungwoo was about to slice me, luckily Donghyuck stopped him at the right time,” Donghyuck hugs Taeil even tighter, “-15/10, not recommended.”

“But hyung,” Donghyuck looks at Taeil with his doe eyes, “You are still okay with changing your hair color to electric blue, right?”

Taeil sighs, then he turns to Kun, “Kunnie.”

“Yes, hyung?”

“Do you know any spell that can turn someone into a _pajeon_?”

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading my work till the end! Special shoutout to Any for letting me write her prompt, as well as Jia for betaing this fic!  
> Comments and kudos would keep me going and would be greatly appreciated, thank you again! Oh and you can always approach me @kuntenjohnil on twitter and cc!


End file.
